zaharablu's Blog

A comical and encouraging outlook on everyday things.

When You Were My Age


The Life of Kylie

My Dad and MeThis is what I believed:

You were on a secret mission for the government. You’d been selected because of your special military skills. You were undercover, top secret, incognito. Every once in a while, I’d see a man who looked a little bit like you. Was it you, so well-disguised? I knew you were watching us.

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    Life ia full of it. One thing we have to accept is that you will face aome type of disappointment in life. I can sometimes leave you feeling like a tornado, tsunami, hurricane and earthquake hit all at the same time. Leave you feeling like WHOOOOAAA! Something I learned about disappointment is it can also help you see things a little differently. Getting disappointing news can change your perspective of yourself, your decisions, well everything.  Something I realized today is…….

    I mean disappointment per Wikipedia disappointment is defined as……the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest.
Simply things didn’t happen as expected. What it doesn’t mean is the action will never happen it just means not right now. So what exactly am I trying to say…… well its like this if we look at disappointment as a hurdle (big or small) vs a failure all together we can then push ourselves to accomplish the goal. Hmph! Easier said than done yeah I know but what I want to encourage is to not change your prespective but maybe change the plan.

    We sometimes think that changing the plan will change the goal but remember “there’s more than one way to skin a cat” or “one monkey don’t stop no show” or “there may be two paths to one destination” okay okay I made that last one up but you get the point. 

    So the next time you are faced with a little disappointment just remember don’t change your perspective just the plan.

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Happy Mother’s Day


You are a wonderful woman and today is a celebration of you. A mother’s work is never done and I am sure many of you have a list of things to do. On that list put pat yourself on the back, give yourself a round of applause, take a bow and tell yourself good job, you go girl, or even a WHOO HOO!!! While mommying isn’t easy you deserve all of the above. You’ve dealt with temper tantrums, busy schedules, demanding teachers, child attitude, teenage attitude, grown child attitude, pick me up, drop me off, mom can I, mom where is, whiney whys, frustrating I can’ts, late night fevers, early morning sickness (pregnant and not), last minute delays, lost annual/vacation days, medical, educational,and decision worries. This list I am sure could go. Why did you do it many will ask. BECAUSE YOU ARE A GREAT MOM! So today enjoy! Make…

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My business vs Your business

     My business versus your business, surprisingly some people don’t know what the difference is. Well let me tell you my business is everything that concerns me and your business is everything that concerns you.  (I bet you were hoping for something thought provoking nope not at all. Doesn’t it seem like there is always one or two or three people that make what you do or don’t do their business.  I find this a constant issue at work and I know I am not alone. So I am writing today to give you a little advice on how to deal with the nosy people In your life………..

      1. Stop caring. Somebody watching to see what you are doing or not doing means you are someone worth watching.  So cross your T’s and dot your I’s and let them watch. The less you stress about them the more they willl stress about you.

     2. Cross your T’s & dot your I’s. Why do you ask because the one thing people who are in your business and watching you want so desperately is to tell on you or get you into trouble or want you to fail. They thrive on it. So do want you know you are supposed to do and they will continue to watch and butt in when they feel its necessary. DISCLAIMER: IT USUALLY WILL NEVER BE NECESSARY

     3. Do you. Dont change who you are as a person because it will only make you disappointed in yourself.  They will spend most of their time trying to “give advice” or question who, what, when, where, & why all of  your decisions.  As long as you are doing what you know is right or what you are supposed to keep it moving. Nosy people will just find another way to get in your business and you don’t want to spend your time getting angry, or cussing, or whatever it is you do when you are frustrated each time their nose finds its way in your business.

     4. Laugh a lot. Nosy people want to see you angry or frustrated so smile, laugh, and be happy. Yes it will only make them work harder to be in your business and find the scoop but again I will state you are obviously someone worth watching.

     So the next time you find yourself in a situation where that nosy person is all in your business remember the above three steps and you will find that nosy people will continue to be nosy (I mean lets be serious they are nosy and not likely to change) but, if they are not a complete idiot, they will get bored and move on to someone else’s business then you can proceed to mind your own. 

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It has been a roller coaster of emotions the last few months. A dead relative, a stressful holiday, a complicated living arrangement, and now trying to figure out what my next step in life is.
       It’s kinda of weird how things happen and they just keep happening until one day everything pisses you off and you are only left with your thoughts since now nobody wants to be around you. So here I am left with my thoughts trying to figure out what has me so upset. Then it hit me…….transitions. not really sure how it happened but everyone around me is shaking and moving and I am not. I know what you are thinking I am jealous.  No no no it’s not jealousy It’s frustration because while I am stuck in a rut and what to transition I am not really sure what I  want to transition into. I mean that’s in my control. So what’s a girl to do?
     Well I could cry, become bitter, then hate everyone around me. No I can’t do that who wants sit around and be miserable all day. Guess I will stay in the dark for a little while longer until I realy figure out what I really want to do. Will I ever figure it out not sure but I hope so. Guess when I figure it out I Will have something to blog about.

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Is this a case of injustice?

A thought!

Culture Monk

is this injustice

by Kenneth Justice

~ A couple days ago at coffee the young woman sitting at my table struck up a conversation with me; turns out she works for a well known Hollywood A-List actor who owns a couple side-companies he created over the past decade. A mutual acquaintance of mine is good friends with this particular Actor and she gave me enough details for me tor realize she was telling the truth.

Yea, I became friends with him via my old job and one day he came in and asked me if I wanted to come and work for him” she said.

This young woman  has no college degree nor did she have any experience for the job the Actor hired her to perform……..but…..she is extremely attractive. Are you getting the picture?

It also turns out that her parents own a successful construction company and prior to taking the job with the Actor…

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Thanksgiving or Christmas

So as many of you know Thanksgiving is around the corner….. or is it. It is really hard to tell with all the black Friday, shop here for Christmas, we have everything you need for a perfect Christmas, and let’s not forget the our prices are better than their prices, Christmas commercials, but one thing we all do know is Thanksgiving comes before Christmas so why no Thanksgiving commercials. I then begin to think isn’t Thanksgiving much like Christmas anyway. Let’s reflect……..

Thanksgiving: we invite family over whom we really wish hope stays at home.  Christmas: we hope family doesn’t call and say what’s your favorite color so we don’t have to buy gifts for them.

Thanksgiving: we go out of our way to make food and consider everyone’s likes and dislikes. Christmas: we buy gifts for everyone  and consider everyone likes and dislikes.

Thanksgiving: we spend days planning and shopping for the perfect dinner. Christmas: we spend days planning and shopping for the perfect gift.

Thanksgiving: at the end of the day you are full and tired. Christmas: at the end of the day you are just tired.

So why exactly is it the two holidays create the biggest stress, because it includes family. Family you like, family you hate, family you fight with, family you wish was around, family, family, family.  I know you think I am being a Debbie Downer but these two holidays are actually my favorite. They are full of excitement, good laughs, memories (good, bad and ugly). I love the fact that the two mean very different things to everyone and not to mention everyone celebrates differently.

I remember the two holidays when I was a child, going to grandmas for dinner, playing with cousins my age, missing cousins who could not make it, waiting for aunts and uncles to have a little too much to drink and arguing about something that happen when they were kids, us children trying to sneak another piece of cake or pie. I loved it! Now things are a little different my grandma died 16 years ago so my Christmas and Thanksgivings are spent mostly at my dad’s waiting on an always late brother, a busy body child who wants to play with everything at the same time, another brother who is playing video games with my nephew, and a mother who is calling because she is waiting on the late brother to pick her up and not being able to eat until everyone is there. You know your typical chaos. AGAIN I LOVE IT!!!!

Thanksgiving is four days away and we are trying to figure out the menu. This year it may be the Hormel turkey and dressing complete dinner and Christmas is thirty one days away and I am getting my Christmas list together (mine is really small cause I only buy gifts for children under the age of 18) but I am really excited to see what this holiday season holds. I am sure it will be full of laughs, fun, tears, disagreements, food and most importantly family. If you have twitter definitely follow me @zaharablu and let me know what the holidays mean to you and how you will celebrate.




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I recently celebrated a birthday, (which one is irrelevant), but in the midst of my celebration I spent a little time reflecting. I know this makes me sound like I’m 70 or 80 (I’m not) but I do this as a way to grow. I mean who really wants to be_______ years old and still making the same mistakes they did when the were_____( you can fill in the blanks, trust me it works for any age). While I was reflecting, my family had a little situation with a relative getting into some legal trouble and I just couldn’t believe it. I spent the weekend before my birthday worried and concerned about this relative and whether or not they would get out, what they did, did they really do it etc etc. So many thoughts ran through my head and then I started thinking of my own life and decisions I have made and wondered could I have easily gotten myself into this same situation. I came to the conclusion Maybe, maybe not. I mean I work very hard at following the law and not being around too many that have no respect for it. 

     As the weekend proceeded and my relative was released I was happy knowing they were out and everything would be okay. Then my actual birthday came up and I was feeling great! Sort of, this year’s ailment was my sciatic nerve causing me to walk with a limp and very slow, but I was feeling in good spirits just because I was here another year and I have people around me that love me, a beautiful child, and a job I actually like to go to, not to mention money hasn’t been really tight like it had in the past. I had dinner with friends on my actual birthday and learned a very valuable lesson. Are you ready for it………….here it is………..ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE NOT GREAT FOR EVERY SITUATION! Sounds kind of weird but it’s true. I had dinner with a group of girlfriends that night and I was expecting a little girl talk, a few drinks,  a lot of laughs, and more girl talk. I got complaints about food, that wasn’t sent back as it was easier just to complain about it, conversations about adoption, and oh let me not forget the political debate. Yes people I said political debate. I was sitting at the dinner table drinking some type of drink and two of my friends were debating over something (did not really care what was, i mean it was suppose to be a girls night out). I shot my other two friends a look that clearly showed my agitation and thoughts of “REALLY, IS THIS REALLY WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT” The only other thing I could think of was so and so should have.

     Okay I know this makes me sound ungrateful or something because they really did not have to show up, but the point that I am really trying to make is if i wanted to have a dinner party with conversations of politics these two friends would have been perfect. I did not, I wanted to have a girls night out where we talk about girly things, (you know men, clothes, shoes etc) not politics. I love all my friends and they all usually bring something great to the table. My motto is with people you have to accept the good with the bad, which to me means that most everyone has bad qualities (yes even me) but if their good outweighs their bad should we really throw the friendship away. I do not think so. My two friends that decided my birthday dinner was the time to have a political debate are very loving, kind, sharing, and typically good people, they just did not know there is an appropriate time to have certain conversations. So the very valuable lesson I learned was to choose my guests wisely. Doesn’t mean I wont include them at all just not on everything.

     All in all I had a really good time for my birthday and am looking forward to what is to come this year. If the year is an exact reflection of my birthday dinner then I am sure it will be filled with a lot of laughs, tears, and awkward dinner party moments, but most importantly awkward friends.

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Simple Things

      Thinking about my day and how it was spent and it made me think how sometimes we (adults) should be child like. No I don’t mean throwing tantrums when things don’t go the way we choose nor do I mean huffing and folding our arms with the words “you’re not my friend” rolling off our tongues (I get that a lot from the kid). What I mean is think simple.  Have you ever watched a child play I mean it cannot get more simple.
         I took the kid to one of those overly expensive pizzerias with the games that cost more tokens that it gives tickets. I spent more money than I expected and we had a lot of fun. We came home ane the kid asked me to color with them. Seemed as though the kid was more entertained sitting at the table  with me coloring picture after picture than being out.
      That’s simplicity at its best. While I know the kid had fun doing both it got me to thinking. …………
          SIMPLE vs OTT (over the top)
I listen to multiple parents, including myself, stress and worry about OTT birthdays, playdates, costumes, toys well…….everything.  My concern with this is not so much we stress but more because we spend so much time stressing we may sometimes miss the simple things that matter the most to them (i.e. coloring at the table) only to get finished with one stressor to move right into another. I am by no means saying we shouldn’t want great things for our children  like lavish parties and OTT costumes what I am trying to say is let’s sometimes get simple. You will find yourself amazed at how something so simple as coloring can be great!

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     Okay let start by saying that we have all made mistakes.  I know  I have had my fair share. It doesn’t bother me that people make mistakes it bothers me when you can’t own your mistake.  I mean how hard is it to say “I messed up!” You know! For many those three words are the hardest to say. In fact so hard, for some it’s easier to just hide it away and hope no one catches it. My issue with that is by then more people are involved and the small mistake has now turned into a bigger one.
      My second thought is it is absolutely, positively, beyond a shadow of a doubt, ridiculously crazy that a person would be so willing to call out your mistake over and over and over again only to turn around and make the same mistake.  So what do I recommend people? SHUT UP!
        Okay so I have made a mistake,  I admitted it and I am trying to correct the problem .  Instead of ridiculing me about it just tell me what needs to be done to solve it. Leave me alone about it tomorrow,  next week, month or year.
      So I end with this, the next time someone you know makes a mistake don’t be so hard on them. Remember your last mistake and how it felt to try and deal with it. And if you are one of those people  who says I never make mistakes…….my reply to that is YEAH RIGHT!

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